my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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