Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
