dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
