I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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