I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
