evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
