Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize