It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
