Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
