you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
