I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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