WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
