so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
