We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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