My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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