guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
