So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
