Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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