I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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