Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
