I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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