I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
ttyl tear gas
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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