I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
ugly people sure do ruin things
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
