sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
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