You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
