K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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