I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
