I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
