I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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