Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize