I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
