I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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