Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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