Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
