I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
