Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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