Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
