just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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