i barfeds in our rink
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
