im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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