who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
