$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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