As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
