i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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