you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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