Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
