So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
