i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
