Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
