I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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