I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize