i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
