just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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