Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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