I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
wow bdsm is so cute
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
