Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
