Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
