I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
