party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
