i don't like sucking hair
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Hippo gnu deer
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
