there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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