no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize