My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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