girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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